He heard me the first time

       Justin and I were having an interesting conversation the other night. He was talking about how he can never clear his mind enough to try and listen to God. The thing that most people don't know about Justin is that he has undiagnosed "ADD". I am so serious when I say this. He cannot just sit still and let his mind go blank. He can sit still, he just has to be doing something. I explained to him that sometimes it just happens. Your just driving your car thinking something and a little voice pops into your head.
       I had the perfect example that just happened to me that day. I was driving to prayer meeting that night and on my way there I saw a huge cloud. As I got closer to the church I realized I was driving right into it. Slowly I started seeing huge lights of lightening right in front of my car. So close that my radio would fizz each time another one showed up. Needless to say I HATE thunderstorms. Anyone who remembers OSHKOSH 1999 will know why. Huge storm, possible tornado that split in half when it came to the campground (lol). I really thought I was going to die that night and have been traumatized ever since.
       Well I'm praying to God on my way to the church. I was just praying that I wouldn't get struck by lightning and I would get to the church safely. I even started bargaining. "I'm going to church to spend time with you God, you can't let me die." And then it got to the point where I confessed Jesus Christ was my one true Saviour just in case I did die. Well I made it in time for the youth pastor to see me sprinting from my car to the church door so that I wouldn't get struck by lightning.
        When I sat down I bowed my head and asked God to make sure it wasn't raining or lightning when the meeting was over so that I wouldn't have to drive back in that weather. During the meeting it began to rain and I could hear the thunder was very close. I tried to concentrate on the speaker but I was getting nervous again. I began to pray again. I started saying, "Lord, please don't let it be raining when..."  and then I was cut off by a very clear voice that said, "I heard you the first time." I realized I wasn't trusting God so I stopped. About ten minutes later I heard more thunder even closer. Again I began to pray and I got as far as, "Lord" when I got cut off again. This time the voice was a little annoyed. "I heard you the first time." At that point I decided to say a prayer of thanksgiving. I said, "Thank you Jesus because I know when I walk out those doors it will not be raining or thundering."
      Sure enough when the meeting was over and I walked out the doors, no rain and no lightning or thundering. Praise God. I wasn't certain it was going to happen but I thanked Jesus anyway in advance and sure enough He came through for me once again.

The Girl without the pearl earring

I love to spend money. Most people who know me, know that I can spend spend spend and not think twice about if I really need something. My husband Justin is the exact opposite. He won't spend the money even if he needs it. So recently we both came together and decided that we (I) need to be more careful with how we spend money and save more. We realized we were spending way too frugurously and that we could put a lot more in savings if we paid attention. So yesterday afternoon I vowed in front of my husband that I would not spend unnecessarily this whole entire summer so that we could put more aside in savings and start on some house projects.
Today we decided we would go to Annapolis and have some diner there and ice cream. Beautiful day to be out walking around and it's a very cute city. After we had our diner, which was within our budget, and we started walking over to the ice cream shop I saw a cute little silver jewelry store. I figured that most of the stuff was going to be unreasonably priced so I figured why not go in and take a look. (I like to do this so that I can point stuff out to Justin and he can maybe start getting a hint of the kinds of things I like.) Well to my surprise the jewelry was actually reasonably priced. So much so that I came upon a cute simple pair of pearl earrings. They were a tear drop kind of design and were small pearls so not too flashy. Just my taste. I look at the price and OMG it's only $28! I reach inside my purse and realize I forgot my wallet inside my car. At this point I look over to my husband with the sweetest look on my face and say, "pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase". Of course the answer was no. He brought up our little budget meeting and this is exactly what he was talking about, blah blah blah blah blah. I kept repeating that they were sooooooooo cute and sooooooooooo cheap. But he just kept saying no. It got to the point where he just walked out of the store and left me there.
I was so angry with him. $28! That's all it was. In my heart I knew he was right but $28! We had ice cream and instead of a sugar cone he paid the extra dollar for a waffle cone! That made me even more angry. We sat on a bench on the side walk and I just couldn't get my mind off of the earrings. Is this how the whole summer is going to go? I love going out during the summer. Why didn't we decide to do this in the winter when I never go out and I'm not in temptations way? I'm not sure if I can do this. I guess I'm just going to have to avoid even "window" shopping. Cause I know I can't even handle that. The point I'm trying to make is I know I'm weak with shopping. I see something and I've got to have it. Everybody knows what their weaknesses are. Whether it be shopping, alcohol, weed, adultery, etc. I know the only way I'm going to stop wasteful spending is if I avoid going to the stores period. Which is a sacrifice I'm going to try my best to make. But if you are trying to stop drinking so much, or stop smoking pot, or stop cheating on your husband, DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU KNOW YOUR GOING TO DO IT! That's just asking for trouble.
I'm still mad that I'm not wearing a fabulous pair of pearl earrings right now. If I could go back I probably would snatch Justin's wallet and run back to the store to pay for them. But I'm pretty sure that by this time next week there will be another item on my mind that I want to purchase and the pearl earrings will be forgotten. But they would have looked so cute on my ears.

Poor little old me

I had an interesting day. Several things going on. I have been praying about my food consumption for several weeks. I like to eat a lot. Not only do I like to eat, I like to eat bad food. I have been managing my weight because of this for many years. I have been successful enough to keep myself within a certain range and never pass. Well I'm close to that borderline at this time so my weight watching is getting started. I prayed this morning and said, "Lord help me make good choices with food today and help me not to over eat.". For lunch instead of getting a McChicken I went to subway and ordered a six inch turkey sub. No soda, no chips. Yayyyy! First meal, success.
   There was traffic on the highway on my way home today. When I finally drove by the accident that was causing the traffic, I had tears in my eyes. All I could see was the back of a sedan rolling up from under a huge truck. As I keep driving, I see the rest of the car underneath the truck. From the way the fire fighters and EMT people were standing around I could tell there were no survivors. Not even sure if they had even started trying to take the people out. Of course I almost started crying and I couldn't help but pray at that moment for God to be with the families of the people in the car.
    When I got home I went straight to check my work email to finalize my day. Let's just say that I received an email that did not make me happy. In fact it kind of hurt personally. I guess it wasn't meant to hurt me personally but it did. Professionally as well. I've worked really hard in school to be where I am and when someone says something that kind of demeans your hard work and professionalism it hurts personally. That's as much as I will say. I was literally sitting at my kitchen table balling my eyes out and and cursing at some people (sorry). Justin was trying to comfort me and ask me if there is anything he can do. Eventually I calmed down and we decided to go out for Mexican.
  Remember how I had a good meal earlier today. Totally ruined with chips and salsa, chicken with melted cheese on top, rice, beans, 2 cups of soda, and a banana fried cheese cake thing, which I had to share with Justin. Boooo. Well so much for eating well today. Maybe tomorrow. I had calmed down enough during the meal to share some jokes with Andre and Justin and the married life that by the time we were on our way home I remembered the accident I saw earlier today. It made me think of my over reaction to a stupid email and how I should be thankful that I have a job. Not only a job, but a job that I love, and how many people can say that? Not only a job that I love, but a job that pays well. Not only a job that pays well, but a job where I get to serve those less fortunate than me and I get paid for it. AMAZING. I have a home, an amazing husband, amazing family, and most of all, I have LIFE. I don't know exactly what happened to the individuals in that car accident. I pray that somehow they survived. But if not, I am also thankful that if anything like that were to happen to me or anyone I love one day, I have the knowledge of knowing that's not the end for us. Because we believe in a higher power, and the gift of salvation. Which let's me know that I will be sleeping and the next time I open up my eyes, I will see my Lord and Savior smiling down on me. And that is one promise that can get you through anything every day. This world is temporary. The next world is permanent.

First Sabbath Blog

 I was checking out other Christian blogs this afternoon to get a sense of what a Christian blog is supposed to look like. I saw a lot of research and a lot of texts from the Bible. I don't believe this is going to be that type of blog. I just want it to be something fresh and light that other young Christian women can relate to. Personally, when I start reading those kinds of blogs it kind of intimidates me. I don't want people to feel intimidated by reading my blog, I want them to relate.
This morning as I was getting ready to go to church I thought about the first year of my marraige and how it was a struggle for my husband and I to get ourselves to church every week. Most of the time we chose not to go. After our first year of marraige we bought a house and realized that we're setting roots for a family. This meant we needed to start taking our spiritual lives more seriously as well. I've always enjoyed church once I got there, it's just the getting there part that I struggled with. It was still a struggle every week to get ourselves to church but now we don't even think about it. I thought about how amazing it is that God helped us get to this level of maturity where we don't have to wake up in the morning and look at each other with a question of, "Who's going to ask first whether we're going to church?". And just this small step means the world to me. And now I've decided that I would like to blog about my day to day struggles with self. I hope whoever finds this finds it refreshing to know that your not the only one who struggles every day with denying self and choosing Christ and that millions of other people struggle with the same exact thing you struggle with. You are not alone.