I feel like I have been circling the same topic over and over again with different messages at the end. The thing is I can't go into too much detail because it's personal but I can share with everyone what I'm getting out of it. Just remember to keep Justin and I in your prayers. We need it. The devil is attacking our home but I know God will have the victory!
Every time I feel like we've gotten somewhere, something else happens that just sets me back again. And it's just so frustrating when I've been praying about it sooo diligently. Morning, day and night I have one constant prayer. Slowly I can feel Justin and I moving forward and then BAM! Never mind. All I can say is at this point, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted of praying. I'm exhausted of hoping. I'm exhausted of pretending to be cheerful when in reality I'm not. The real reality is I've been shaken. Shaken because I never expected to be in this situation and shaken because the devil wants me to doubt God's strength and power. Shaken because I have no words left for my husband. I keep thinking of this song from Casting Crowns. " I was sure by now, Lord you would have reached down and wiped my tears away. Stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say Amen and it's still raining...I'll praise you through this storm, and I will lift my hands. You are who You are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hands. You never left my side. Though my heart is torn, I'll praise you in this storm."
As I sat in church on Sabbath and looked around, I kept wondering, what are they going through? Because I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I'm not the only one who's exhausted. And I bet if I heard other people's stories I would laugh at how minor my problem seems. I pray that I may be able to lean on God's strength from now on and not my own and that others who are just feeling beaten down by the devil may move forward with the Lord's strength when they feel they have no strength of their own left. "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For MY yoke is easy and MY burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
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I don't know where I heard this, but someone said, if you and everyone you knew threw their problems on the ground, you would pick yours right back up again. You're going through things because Jesus knows you can handle them and is refining you.
ReplyDeleteRemember this:
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."
Romans 8:26
Love you and miss you!